Tips for Moving Back Home With Your Parents

Moving back home with your parents has lots of benefits, maybe more so for you in some circumstances, and more so for them in others.

But generally, it is not always easy, especially if it is not properly planned and discussed.

You could be moving in with your parents after a divorce, or breakup, having finished university graduation, as a temporary solution to save money to pay off debts, or for buying a new house, for example.

Or maybe your parents are reaching the stage where they need some care, or are financially struggling.

Whatever the reason, there are a few things to consider and discuss before all living under one roof again.

Here are some tips for moving back home that will make your relocation and your stay with your parents much more pleasant for everyone, as well as things to discuss and consider when the move is at their beckoning and not yours.

You may also like to read: How to Move In With Friends and Remain BFF Forever. Whether moving in with friends or family, there will be many things to consider about the house rules and the planning of the physical move. This guide is packed with useful tips to help make the move a success.

Tips for When You Want to Move Back in With Parents

What can you do to make moving back home with your parents easier and more pleasant for everyone?

Before broaching the subject with them, have a robust plan in place that meets your goals but also takes into consideration their needs and the fact that they built a new life when you moved out originally.

#1 Make a plan

How long do you want to stay at your parent’s home? If this is a temporary arrangement set a firm date when you intend to move out again.

Set deadlines to reach small goals that will facilitate your moving-out plans.

By not having a set plan you may be very tempted to stay where you are and not move on with your life as you initially planned.

Remember – living with your folks is just one step in your life and is supposed to be temporary so have a defined exit plan.

But remember that your plan has to be realistic and achievable otherwise the plan is worthless.

Your parents will be happier to know that you have a firm plan and intend to stick with it and may more readily agree to you moving back home if you demonstrate that this is a temporary situation.

#2 Discuss the issue with your parents

Are they happy to have you back home again? How long would they feel comfortable with you staying?

Let them know what your plan is and discuss it with them.

Now that you’ve moved out, their life is different and they have the right to ask you to respect that.

Maybe they are used to having their own privacy or they’ve already changed your room to use for something else.

Just as you had a new life when you left home originally, so they too set about a new chapter of their life.

You may be interested to read: How to Deal With Empty Nest Syndrome. By reading this article you will understand how much your parents’ life changed when you moved out and how they have now built a new and full lifestyle.

#3 Discuss duties and responsibilities

Yes, they are your parents, but you’re a grown-up now and you are expected to take more responsibility.

Discuss issues related to housework, bills, and home maintenance.

Think about the shopping and cooking as well.

Will you do it together or will you take turns?

#4 Discuss boundaries

Your parents may see you as their kid forever but it is a fact you’ve grown up.

Explain what will make you feel more comfortable while living at their house, like to knock on your door before entering your room.

There will also likely be boundaries that you need to accept and you will need to know:

Is it OK for you to have friends over?

Can a partner stay over?

How late can you watch TV or play music?

Knowing what will make you and them feel more comfortable in the house or flat will make things easier for everyone.

#5 What are their expectations?

Maybe your parents have difficulties in maintaining the garden or home and they need your help.

What do they hope to gain from this arrangement?

#6 Discuss finances

The most common source of conflict is money, so get this agreed straightaway.

Whilst you may be moving home to get yourself back on your feet financially you must still offer to pay your share of the bills and also pay rent.

Even if they are in a position to decline your offer, at least you have shown willingness and not assumed that you were going to be moving home rent-free.

If they will not accept payment then maybe you could offer to decorate or do some maintenance to the home?

You may also like to read: Everything You Need to Know About Moving into a Shared House. Whilst this guide is aimed at moving into a home shared by friends or a multiple occupancy house, the tips and advice in it equally apply to moving back in with parents.

Tips For When Your Parents Want You to Move Back Home

Now let’s look at tips for when your parents have asked you to move back in with them, maybe to help with caring for them or for the home.

Whilst all the above points also apply when your parents have asked you to move back home, there are other considerations as well.

#1 What happens if circumstances change?

You may be able to cope with any assistance and care that your parents need now but what happens if your health starts failing or their needs get to such a stage that you cannot cope?

What happens if they need to go into care and their home has to be sold to pay for that care?

Where does that leave you?

Whilst nobody wants to think of these events, the financial implications could be disastrous and should be discussed with a financial advisor.

#2 How does your moving in affect benefits?

Speak to Ageconern or a similar organisation about how your moving into the home affects any benefits your parents may receive.

It may also affect any benefits that you get so seek advice regarding that as well.

You may also be entitled to additional help and financial assistance which should also be explored.

#3 How will this affect your family?

If you have your own family what does this move mean for them? Is it just too disruptive to the children’s education? Is the commute to your partner’s work just not possible? Does your partner even want to move?

You may also like to read: My Partner Wants to Move – I Don’t – Now What? In this guide, we suggest compromises and considerations in this very common home-moving dilemma.

#4 How will the move impact your life?

Does this mean an end to your career? How does that impact you financially? And crucially consider the emotional as well as physical impact caring for your parents may have.

#5 What happens to your home?

Will you need to rent it out or sell your old home? What happens to your possessions – do you sell them or put them into storage?

#6 Would a move for both parties be more sensible?

Is your parents’ home too small to accommodate you and your family and would it be better to sell both properties and buy a more suitable multigenerational home?

You may also like to read: All You Need To Know About Multi-Generational Homes. In this guide, we look at the pros and cons, the practicalities, and the best way to plan a multi-generational home. 

#6 What are the options?

Having taken into consideration all of the above and it is just not workable, what are the options?

In-home care? Other family members? Private care? Assisted living? Retirement villages with care?

Before making any final decisions thoroughly discuss and research your options with many of the organisations that are out there that can help.

You may also like to read: Housing Options for Older Adults. In this guide, we look at 10 options for housing seniors which may give you some inspiration when considering the options.

There is clearly much to think about when faced with the decision to move back home, whether of your own volition or because of circumstances somewhat beyond your control.

Life often throws us a curve ball and we can only make the best decision for today based on today’s information.

But with some forethought, planning, and good communication, moving in with your parents should be just a little bit easier.

Good luck.