Moving Back to Your Hometown – A Move in the Right or Wrong Direction?

Moving back to your roots, back to your hometown, is it a safe retreat, or a place where nostalgia masks reality?

Whether you are thinking of moving back to your hometown from across the country, moving back to the UK after living abroad for many years or moving from the UK back to your home country, it is an alluring yet unpredictable prospect.

Moving back home when things have come to an end, such as education, a work contract, or a relationship may seem the obvious destination to head for.

But is moving back to your hometown a good idea?

In this week’s home moving blog, we examine why moving back to your hometown may be a mistake, or why it may be the key to your finding happiness.

We also look at moving back to your home country and will try and help you decide if that is the right thing for you to do.

Why Do People Want to Move Back to Their Hometown?

Primarily people move back to their hometown to be near family and this could be for various reasons:

• To provide care for elderly parents
• To have the grandparents be more involved in the grandkid’s lives
• To move back in with their parents to regain control of their finances
• For the emotional support of their family following a major event in their life

Many people moving back home having lived abroad will head for their hometown because they believe the familiar surroundings would offer an easy way to reintegrate back into their native country.

Many will want to return home because they are tired of not fully understanding a language or culture, having to make an effort to process every conversation, TV show, or radio broadcast back to their native language and then back to the local language.

Or maybe they crave the comfort of home cooking, ingredients that they recognise, and recipes from their childhood that bring a feeling that only they can.

But it is often a more emotional void that needs filling, something that is missing from their lives, a feeling that we have only ever had when in our hometown.

You may also like to read: Should You Move Home After a Life-Changing Event? Is a common reaction to want to move back home after a life-changing event. In this guide, we look at various scenarios and ask whether moving home now is a good idea or not.

When Returning Home After a Long Time Away Be Wary of Nostalgia

The problem is that our nostalgic view of our hometown may be from a time when we had no family of our own or had no commitments, we were probably young and carefree with our whole lives ahead of us, and when life was new and exciting.

Somehow we believe that no matter how much the world has changed, our hometown will have been frozen in time and we can regain the feelings of security, optimism, familiarity, or sense of belonging that we might currently miss.

We envisage our old friends and family living the same lives and we will slot seamlessly back into our old hometown life.

But things change, and if you have been living in another country, or travelling, or at university in a big city, then not only will your hometown have changed, the people in your hometown will have changed, and crucially, you will have changed too.

Your old friends may have families now or moved on themselves, or they may have careers.

As much as you would like to slip back into your old life, it is unlikely to happen.

Places that you used to visit, stores, clubs, and bars may no longer exist.

The town itself has likely changed with new housing estates and a totally different demographic.

And your nostalgic view of your hometown is also seen through your eyes of years ago.

You have been away, had new experiences, learned new things, been around different cultures, and been exposed to a world that many in your hometown have not.

What may not have changed are some of the memory triggers.

You may have left because of a failed relationship or some life-changing event that meant you just had to get away.

Those memories could come flooding back when you would rather they did not.

There is also the perception that people had of the younger you to contend with.

People have long memories and it may take a lot of work on your part to show how much you have changed.

Nostalgia is a comfort blanket when we are far from home, but it can make the reality of moving back to your hometown or home country a bigger shock than it might otherwise be.

You may also like to read: How to Deal With Emotional Overload When Moving Home. All the emotions that you experience during a home move are what makes it so stressful and seemingly overwhelming. In this guide, we look at ways to control emotion to make moving home, and home-moving decisions, so much easier.

Moving Back to Your Hometown After College

In an ideal world, you have your future mapped out already, leave college, move to an exciting new city or country, start an amazing new career, and live life to the fullest.

And some people are lucky enough to do just that.

For the majority, however, their formal education will have finished and they are stood at a crossroads in their life.

The career that they studied for in college or university is no longer so appealing, or there are just no job openings available, or the cities where the jobs are now are just too expensive to live on a starting salary.

Many will leave further education with debts, maybe not have the grades they had hoped for, or are just exhausted by the rollercoaster of life in college.

For many graduates, moving back to their hometown is a very sensible option.

Coming back to your family home will enable you to take stock of your life, to have the time to step back and reassess what you want to do next.

It is also a great opportunity to get your finances in order and may even allow you to save some money to finance the next chapter of your life.

The education and experiences that you acquired at college could open up opportunities in your hometown that you never imagined before.

Some of those skills could help the local community or your family.

And for your well-being, making use of those skills, that knowledge, in your hometown, is far more beneficial than moving away from your hometown just because you think that is what you should be doing.

Often what we are looking for in life is right under our nose, but we are so fixated on the thought that moving away is the answer and that we somehow become adults if we don’t live where we were brought up.

Moving back to your hometown or country after college allows you to take stock of your life, it gives you some breathing space.

The alternative could mean moving to a city that you cannot afford to live in whilst trying to find a job in your chosen career that maybe doesn’t exist.

Then you end up taking any job just to survive and before you know it you are trapped in a life that you don’t want, you are on a treadmill just to survive, all because you viewed going back home as some sort of failure.

If you have landed that great job after college, you can afford to live in the part of the country where the jobs are, then great.

But there is no shame in moving back to your hometown, regrouping, and making your next life decisions from a solid platform of reason and logic though.

Finally, have a thought for your family when you move back home.

It will be a time of adjustment for all of you, a period of understanding and tolerance will be needed whilst you all adjust to living together again.

But the rewards for all of you will be worth it, even if it is for a short time until you decide exactly what to do next, whilst you decide, in the immortal words of The Clash, Should I Stay or Should I Go Now.

You may also like to read: How to Move Out of a Rented Property. If you are moving out of a rented property to go back home you will find this guide invaluable. This is a comprehensive list of what needs doing to ensure you get your deposit back and that your move is as easy and cheap as possible.

Moving Back to Your Hometown in Your 30’s or 40’s

Life has a habit of doing its own thing.

In our youth we envision how our life will be, we have dreams and aspirations and work towards making these things happen.

But then life happens and our plans change.

Our career may not work out, or we get made redundant, or a relationship ends, or we just cannot cope with the life we currently lead for any number of reasons.

And as we get older so do our parents, as we enter our 40s it is more and more likely that our parents will need some level of care, if not now, then in the not-too-distant future.

Moving back to your hometown to provide care for elderly parents is one of the main reasons why people in their 30s and 40s make this move.

Putting those reasons aside though, moving back to your hometown can be a positive thing with many benefits for everybody.

As we get older our priorities change, as do our needs.

In our youth, we want to break away and see what’s out there in the world, but later in life, we can feel that we have missed out on being with our family and that we need to reconnect and be with them.

Moving back to our hometown allows us to spend precious time with family.

If you have kids then they will have time to create special memories with their grandparents, and it will give the grandparents a new lease of life too.

You may also benefit from being around family, especially if you have moved away to a big city and are feeling lonely with no support network around you.

The hometown that we once thought of as boring or with no opportunities could be the perception of a young person, whereas now you can see the opportunities and positive aspects from a more mature viewpoint.

There may also be employment opportunities that were not open to you when you were just starting out and had no experience.

Going back to your hometown was seen many years ago as a step backward or a failure. It was expected that you left home and went off to further education, travelling, or to start a career.

There is no such stigma these days.

People are now far more aware of just how important it is to have your family around you, to have a support network, and to feel safe and secure.

Life is about quality not quantity and many find that quality of life in their hometown.

You may also like to read: Living in a Multigenerational Home. Whilst moving back to your hometown does not mean that you have to move back in with your family, there are many benefits to doing so. In this guide, we look at what living in a multigenerational home means, how to make it work, and the practicalities of living with many generations under one roof.

Moving Back to Your Hometown After Divorce

The breakdown of a long-term relationship or marriage can be a defining moment in our lives.

Some people will see it as an opportunity to start travelling or to embark on an adventure.

Others will just want to get away and be alone, to escape from the reminders of their old life.

Yet others will want the comfort and support that only family can give.

Moving back to your parent’s home after divorce will give you time and space to think and plan. It is a safe place where there will be love, support, comfort, and familiarity.

From a financial point of view, it will allow you the opportunity to save some money before you decide on your next course of action.

Of course, you may not want to move back into your parent’s home, nor may it be practical to do so, but moving back to your hometown will allow you to be near your family without having to live together.

The emotional support will be there when you need it, or you may just need practical support and have your family look after the kids so that you can get work whilst you get back on your feet.

It is never going to be easy moving back to your hometown, especially at such an emotional time.

Your parents will have made a life for themselves since you left, they will have made routines, and be enjoying the peace and quiet of their lives.

They may not have the financial ability to support you, or the space to accommodate all your things.

Equally, you will be used to living by your own rules and doing things your way, so moving back into your parent’s home may seem like a step too far for you.

But needs must, and for a short time, it could give you the breathing space you need.

And it may just be that your parents want you around them at this time, they want to help and support you. You won’t know unless you have that conversation with them.

It will not be easy for either party and will need compromise, tolerance, and understanding from everybody.

But with some rules in place, a plan for the future, and luck, it will all work out.

You may also like to read: How to Move Out After a Break-Up. In this guide, we look at the practical steps and considerations that you may want to take after the break-up of a marriage or relationship to make the transition to your new life easier.

Moving Back to Your Hometown After Retirement

Would you move back to your hometown to retire? Maybe that would not be on your initial shortlist, but many find compelling reasons to do so.

You may have moved away from your hometown decades ago, brought up a family, or had a career in a place that you now consider your hometown.

But if your family lived for generations in your real hometown, and some still do, then the draw of returning to your ancestors, to the place where you were born, can be strong.

It is inevitable that as we get older many of our friends pass away and the older we get, the more alone in the world we can become.

But family relations, even if only distant ones, may still be in your hometown, it is where generations of your family may be buried, where the family name is still known, and members of the family fondly remembered.

There may not only be a family connection to your hometown but some old friends may still be living there.

It could be a wonderful opportunity to get reacquainted with them, to reminisce and relive the days of your youth.

Of course, your home town will have changed, as have you. But there may be just enough of a connection there to enable you to create a fulfilling retirement for yourself.

A final consideration. Many people wish to be buried alongside their family, but as I recently found out, if you pass away outside of the county you wish to be buried in, then expect to pay a hefty price to do so.

You may also like to read: 10 Best Housing Options for Older Adults in which we explore the different types of housing solutions that are available for people as they get older. From volunteering to various styles of homes, we look at some of the best housing options for an exciting new chapter in our lives.

Is Moving Back to Your Hometown a Good Idea?

Choosing where to live next is never easy and there is no generic answer, no magic formula that generates the correct answer for everybody.

A lot will depend on exactly where your hometown is, whether it is a city or village, and what the advantages and disadvantages of moving back are.

And only you can generate that pros and cons list to make that decision.

If your hometown is a village in the middle of nowhere, with no amenities, no work, or no shops, then if you are still of working age, or with a family, it may make no sense to move back there.

However, if you are fit and able, and it is an idyllically quiet and peaceful place, then it may be your perfect retirement destination.

Conversely, if you need access to public transport and good healthcare, it may not be such a good place to live.

Your hometown could be one of the big cities.

The price of a home could be exorbitant, the job market extremely competitive, or there could be huge inner-city problems with the area.

Equally, it could give you easy access to lots of amenities, plenty of job opportunities, good schools, and convenient public transport.

If it is a temporary move whilst you regain control of your life or decide upon your next course of action, then have a clear plan.

Stick to the plan and ensure everything you do in some way moves you to your goal otherwise you may be surprised at just how quickly time flies and before you know it you are in a situation that would be extremely difficult to get out of.

The one aspect of moving back to your hometown that is different from any other location is the emotional connection you have with it.

Again, this is not true for all of us.

Some people will have no emotional attachment at all, no desire to ever set foot in the place again, it is not a mandatory feeling.

The point is, there is no easy answer.

Ask yourself why you want to move back to your hometown.

What are the pros and cons of moving back to your hometown?

How will this move improve your life?

Will moving back to your hometown solve all your problems? If they are practical problems then it may well do, but often we think that moving home will solve all our emotional problems too.

Often though, those emotional issues move home with us.

Get to the real reason why you want to move home, that will determine if moving back to your hometown is right for you.

You may also like to read: Can Moving Home Make You Happier in which we ask whether you are depressed about where you live or how you live, whether the size of the home or its location matters, and how to determine if moving home will make you happier.

7 Tips for Moving Back Home After Living Abroad

Why do people move back to their home country and how do they adjust to the change?

Returning home after living abroad for many years is not something that many ever thought they would be faced with, but as we all know, life has a way of changing even our best-laid plans.

Many people return home each year after living abroad, but what if your return to your home country was unplanned, and you had no time to prepare yourself mentally for the transition home, how do you adjust to your new life?

Just as adjusting to life abroad was not easy, your return to your home country is not going to be easy either.

There are, however, ways to help you cope with the move back home, and here are some tips that will help make the transition home easier:

#1 Get Everything in Order

Ensure that you leave with a clean slate and that everything is legally and correctly finished.

That means paying all your bills, ending contracts, and ensuring that any legal obligations you have to leave the country have been met.

But it also means saying farewell to all the friends you have made.

Take the time to part on good terms, they have shown you kindness and hospitality, it would be wrong to go without saying goodbye properly.

Once this is all taken care of you will be in a better position to make the break and start your new life with no loose ends dangling over your head.

#2 Manage Your Expectations

Life is likely going to be very different.

The weather, culture, people attitudes, language, crime rates, food, driving, road signs, clothing, the time of day you eat, how you cook, the ingredients you use, work ethic, everything you have learned to adapt to and now see as normal will be different.

Even though you will be returning to your home country, it has not been your home for many years, and much will have changed, just as you have.

Your hometown may have new estates and landmarks taken down, the demographics may have changed, and it may have a totally different feel about it.

Condition yourself to think that everything will be different from how you remember it, then if it hasn’t changed it will be a pleasant surprise.  If it has changed, then you will be prepared for that.

Also, be mindful that you will not just step back into the life you had before you left.

Friends will have moved away and had families, and new careers, they will have matured, their lives will have moved on and they will have different priorities now.

Approach your return home as you did the outward journey. Plan every last detail so that you have a solid plan for reintegrating into your home country.

#4 Reconnect With Friends and Acquaintances

You have likely kept in contact with many old friends through social media, if only fleetingly.

Now would be a good time to rekindle those friendships, not only will it be great to catch up with them properly, but they may be able to help you find somewhere to live or get a job.

Meeting up with them will also be a great opportunity to visit old haunts and will help you feel a bit more at home.

If you need work then reach out to old acquaintances and work contacts, the life skills that you learn when living and travelling abroad are often very attractive to new employers.

#5 Make Use of Social Media

Search for local interest groups in your hometown on social media, and find people with similar interests to yourself so that you can start building a social circle.

Read local social media pages so that you become familiar with what is going on in the area you are relocating to.

The more you learn and see about the area the easier your transition back will be.

Also, seek out restaurants of the cuisine from the country you are leaving.

It would be a fun night for your friends as you introduce them to your favorite foods and connect your old and new lives in a small way.

Be sure to update any profiles you have on both social and professional networking sites.

Employers often regard any experience gained living abroad as an attribute and it may even enhance your ability to get a job.

#6 Take Your Time

Rome wasn’t built in a day, but parts of it were.

Don’t think that you will hit the ground running as soon as you get back to your hometown. There are a lot of changes that have happened to you, your home town, and indeed your home country.

Take one step at a time, but make sure you take steps every day.

Be proactive in your reintegration, go out of your way to make a new social circle, rediscover your hometown, or find a job.

Explore, experience, and engage with your new surroundings so that each day things become more and more familiar.

Just getting used to hearing and speaking your native language again will be strange at first, so the more interaction you have with people the less strange or unusual it will become.

#7 List the Bad Things About Living Abroad

Before leaving your home abroad take a moment or two to list all the things that irritate you, or are negatives about living in that country.

This is a useful tool to have when you start to experience reverse culture shock which will we cover in this next section.

You may also like to read: Checklist for Expats Returning to the UK. There are many practical things that you have to sort out when moving back to the UK. From how to prepare to leave your home abroad, and the things you need to get organised in the UK, to the practicalities of physically moving your things back to the UK, this is an invaluable checklist for returning expats.

How to Overcome Reverse Culture Shock

The tips offered above will help you overcome reverse culture shock, or at the very least make it manageable.

Reverse culture shock is a very real thing and can be even more shocking just because you would expect your hometown to be the one place where you feel comfortable and safe, where everything is familiar and gives you a feeling of well-being.

Whether moving back to your hometown or home country, you will to some extent, at some stage, experience culture shock.

When living abroad or away from your hometown, it was easy sometimes to look back at life in your home country or hometown with rose-tinted glasses.

You are likely to do the same now that you are back in your native country or hometown.

Nostalgia is a powerful emotion that can wreak havoc with your mind.

Remember #7 from the tips in the last section? Make a list of all the negative aspects of living abroad.

When you feel nostalgic for your life overseas or in another place, and reverse culture shock is rearing its ugly head, pull that list out and read through it.

This is a good tactic to remind us that nowhere is perfect, every town, every city, and every country has its bad points as well as good.

The subject of culture shock is a complex issue and requires far more comprehensive exploration than we can give it in this guide, which is why we have written a complete article on this subject:

You may also like to read: How to Avoid Culture Shock When Moving Home. In this guide we look at culture shock in more depth, why it occurs, what are the stages, how you manage culture shock, and how to avoid it. There is a comprehensive section on reverse culture shock and we also look at transition shock which you may find particularly useful.

Tips for Moving Back To Your Hometown

Whether moving back across the country or continents to your hometown, it is never going to be an easy decision or transition.

The emotional aspect of any home move is often the most overlooked as a major contributor to home moving stress.

Knowing how to manage your emotions and your expectations will go a long way to making the transition to your new home less stressful and ultimately more successful.

Be especially mindful of nostalgia, both when deciding to move back to your hometown, and when you long to be back where you just moved from.

Take your time making decisions, weigh up the pros and cons, and research as much as possible.

No matter how well you think you know your hometown and the people there, things will have changed in your absence.

The final part of the jigsaw when moving back to your hometown is to ensure that the physical move of your precious household items goes as smoothly as possible.

Follow these golden rules for moving home and the move itself will be one less thing to worry about.

#1 Decluttter – The fewer items you move, the cheaper your move will be, and the more options you have for transporting your things. So clear out all the non-essentials, all the things that you do not truly love or need. Decluttering really will make your home move so much easier.

#2 Research Removals – The more diligent you are about choosing a removal company to help you move, the more likely you are to find a really good removal firm.

#3 Hire Packers – Packing is the most tedious and time-consuming task when moving home. Most people would agree that hiring a professional packing team is some of the best money you will spend when moving.

#4 Be Organised – The more organised you are, the less chance there is that anything will go wrong with your move. Use a home moving checklist, as well as a change of address checklist, so that you do not forget any important task that needs doing.

Finally, if moving back to your hometown turns out to be a big mistake, there is always a road out of every town, just chalk it up to experience and move on.

Nothing in life is permanent and there are nearly always choices.

Did you move back to your hometown? Let others know in the comments below how it turned out for you and any advice you can pass on.